self-destruct

I could care less who wins a point, who wins the game.

It might seems a bit irresponsible, but I love fighting the matches because I know, in the end, win or lose, I will die. So, there is nothing to hold back.

In a way its like the rush of suicide. To completely self-destruct and shed everything that's been weighing you down feels like the light at the end of the tunnel. A tunnel you've lost your breath trying to get out of.

The time is defined, the space is defined, its the only place where all other decisions I have to make don't matter, all I have to find is what I can do in this time, in this space.

My opponent never has a face, never has a name. Every match is between me and my greatest enemy, who is also my greatest savior; the same one I see in the mirror.

At some point. I have to trust myself.

I'm so sorry that the American Dream was a broken one for you.
But today, I have decided that I am no longer your collateral damage.


I might have to get out there and fail a million times and make a million mistakes, but they will be for my own sake.

I've wasted so many years not dreaming, I have a lot of time to make up.

I will find myself, I will love myself; despite what you've led me to believe.