Intensity

this is who I am

I can't stop it

I won't stop it


我會讓你窒息

but I make it fair

lets not forget what we are

Moron

So I was driving down to meet Lissy for her B-day dinner, and as the day at work had passed.. i was more and more impatient and annoyed with thing sin life, and i found my self sighing...hence the previous note..

but as i was driving.. i all of the sudden went from trying to find my breath to laughing, and I hadn't laughed like that in a long long time... it went deep.

I realized, shit, I'm a moron.

its a good thing really. it explains a lot.

So what if the world is the way it is.. i just need to kick back a bit.

i had a good time today, met some new people, and it was really really nice.
good connection good conversation.. well more like talked a lot of shit.. but to get it that well timed takes some skills.

fear

because i can feel it.

because you realize only after you start breathing again that your breath was taken away.

and you didn't want to give it away.



and you realize... that if its making you sigh, then it maybe time to let go.

it may not be worth it



but you realize you're just scared.


I'll admit, I'm scared.

when..

when did it happen?

this line between girl and woman.

is there a clear distinction? should there be?

and do I want to fall on either side of that line...

If only this was how we could all relate.

if only this was how people can be with everyone.
if only we could all pick things up and let them go... and still remember the whole point of it was just to experience life.
then maybe we could be happy.

"Thank you for remembering. Last year you took me to elephant bar with all the yummy. Tonight I had Gnochi that melts in the mouth. I can barely keep my eyes open and I'm trying not to turn overly mushy but meeting you was one of the best things that happened to me. Even if I don't get to see you I just feel much less alone in the world. Thanks for all the Happy."

be happy. please.

conversation

...........

"why?"
"because I care, and you're important to me"
"..."
"i do"
"but, do you care enough not to do anything?"
*thoughtful exasperation* "hmph..... you try me."
"i know i do, or you wouldn't care."
*chuckle*

............


I still remember that... I was 20 then.
Pity the fool that tries to take me home.