I tried to pray today.

And I didn't know what to say.

Seems our wants are trivial.

In the end the only thing I could say was " forgive us" .

You chose him. I didn't.

I'm not willing to throw away my life and happiness for him. You are.

I don't love him as much as you do.

I've accepted this is how we are.

I don't want anything else from him.

You can't fix this for him.

Hey there

Dear God,
I know we haven't spoken in a while, but I know you've been there because I'm still alive.
Thanks

Louis CK - Girls vs Women

fuzzy pictures

I don't think I've ever imagined my own wedding. I don't remember ever really wanting to be married. I never was a girl with real life fairy tales in my head. But story books are okay, they belong there.

Planning other people's day.. bringing their vision to life seems so much easier. They know what they want. I know how to get it for them.

For me...I can just now barely see the day.. but I can't see any color scheme.. I can't see any flower placements.. I can't see any dress style... I can't imagine any frivolous detail...

but I hear laughter... I hear the rowdy cheers...I see smiles.. that, I know I definitely want.

wish

I would use a wish. Maybe a few. Bring me back to a time when the bank didn't exist.

I was 6, and I stopped dreaming. I never had the kind of audacity to say "I want this", even so, what I want doesn't seem relevant.

Sure, you wouldn't say anything to discourage me, but I was up at night hiding in the dark, listening to the fights. If I could do something to pay for this, then maybe it would stop, and the hurt would stop.

I understood what it meant when you told me you'd be so proud of when we grew up and made lot of money.

If that is all I am to you, then maybe I should re-evaluate what you are to me.

自毀

something so intense and reaches so deep, you can only drown.

reckless.

damn the sensible.